True Intimacy and Why You Feel Lonely in Your Relationships
There is a lot of pressure from our society to find our ‘soulmate’ and live out the rest of our lives in a hot and steamy relationship full of passion and love. What society does not always mention is that long term relationships are hard work, and that love in a long-term relationship begins to look different over time.
After the loss of the initial excitement of a new relationship, many people begin to feel a little bit lonely even though they are in a long-term relationship. Feeling lonely in a long-term relationship does not always mean the relationship is doomed to end. However, it could mean that there is a disconnect happening somewhere along the way and the key to repairing the connection may lie in finding a way to be truly intimate.
- Where is the connection lacking?
Once your relationship begins to settle into a long-term relationship, the steamy passion that once lit a spark in the bedroom may begin to settle a little bit too. This is completely normal, but for many it feels like an issue making a real connection with your partner.
Adjusting to the new phase of your relationship may be difficult and can cause some feelings of loneliness in one partner or the other. These feelings can be overcome by talking with your partner and recognizing that there is some disconnect happening somewhere in the relationship.
The partner who is feeling lonely is likely suffering from a difference in expectation and reality. The expectation was that the passion would continue as normal, but as life began to carry on and things began to settle, the reality set in and that partner is now experiencing disappointment which leads to loneliness.
- Talk about it with your partner.
Part of this loneliness might stem from your own anxiety about the disconnect between the two of you. Anxiety can be extremely isolating, and anxious thoughts can lead to a great deal of self-doubt as well. Talking about these things with your partner can do a great deal for the feeling of loneliness.
The truth of the matter is that you are never going to be able to fix the disconnection if you are unable to discuss it with the other partner. It may even be the case that your partner has no idea you are feeling this way. Be sure to talk about the issue before it becomes even worse than it already is.
- Set a Goal with Your Partner
Now that you have discussed your feelings with your partner, you can both discuss your goals for the relationship. Chances are that if any of the loneliness is stemming from anxiety, simply having this conversation will make great strides in helping you feel better about the issues at hand.
Hopefully, you and your partner can begin to think about your long-term goals for the relationship and can begin to think about how to move forward to reach those goals. The main thing is that you both understand and agree what your long term goals for the relationship should be.
- Put a Plan in Motion
Now that everyone has had a chance to voice their concerns and discuss the goals of the relationship, you can make a plan for fixing the issues at hand. Whether you decide to make a weekly date night, spice things up in the bedroom, or even just have more daily conversations about what is going on in life, having a set plan can help to make you feel far less lonely than you have been feeling in the relationship.